| doh! |
[07 Sep 2009|05:31pm] |
Last night I plugged my phone into the office charger so I'd have it available in Atlanta. This morning, I woke up, got ready in less time that I had planned and left for SFO. You know, without my phone. Goood job! I'm sure (after the fact) that I could have turned around and picked it up since I had just made it to Mace blvd when i realized it. But since the bridge was closed, I wasn't really sure if I could make it....
Ah well. So if anyone wants to contact me, it's going to have to be through e-mail. This might be a little bit of a problem since I'm waiting for a call back on not only the school's pest control company (my room included ants) but also a call back for a job.
So, no phone until Friday night... but I'm really not that popular so I doubt it's a problem.
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[31 Aug 2009|10:36pm] |
SHIT!
CSUMB decided to change their financial aid deferment date from October to Friday. This Friday. My aid has 3 days to get her before I'm disenrolled.
I'm hoping I can get this waved, for this semester. Otherwise, I'm totally fucked because in no way do I have that amount of money.
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| A little bit late |
[30 Aug 2009|05:23pm] |
I was wasting time re-reading old journal entries and came across this little gem.
1. Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
Let's see... that would make me 27. Probably balancing the tail end of my education with a job and a household, and about 10 lbs skinnier from lack of eating. I spend a lot of time eating carrots and things that can be snacked on because I hardly have time to either make myself food during the day or the money pick it up. I'm probably stressing over being pregnant, for better or worse.
LIES! none of those things happened.
I've actually got 2 more years before my BS is done... another 4 on top of that if I go post grad
25 lbs heavier thankyouverymuch
And, right now, I'm not stressing over being preggers. That was totally 4 months ago! (*cough*NoBabies*cough*)
The only thing that's true is my continued insistence that carrots by themselves constitutes a meal... also I'm broke.
Also, ironic much?
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| Things I miss since quitting beef (and becoming a mostly vegitarian) |
[21 Aug 2009|02:25pm] |
Salami - nothing really tastes better with crackers and brie than dry salami
Hamburgers - It's the smell of them on the BBQ, not so much the actual taste. I've discovered the longer I go without meat, the worse it smells, and hamburger in general retains the smell it had before it's been cooked; rotting and sour.
Steak: mostly for the physical pleasure of eating it. There's nothing like fillet minion.
Spaghetti: The texture isn't right without ground beef.
Tri-Tip Sandwiches: I no longer know what to order with my beer during dinner.
Other than that, there's not much to miss. Granted, I didn't go full Veg, just cut out the beef. By circumstance lamb has been looped in with it due to the fact I rarely get presented with the oppertunity to have lamb and I've never much cared for pork. Poultry and sushi are still on the menu.
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| I don't know if I should happy or sad |
[27 May 2009|11:11pm] |
Since I've been back to VSP, I've had just about everyone ask me how it is being back from school. Really, it's like reverse culture shock, like coming home to the familiar. This leaves me in such an odd state.
In Monterey, I was happy, deeply happy, if not missing my friends. I was doing well in school, I had accomplished one of my personal goals, and while things weren't perfect, it was close. Here I'm not as happy, but my situation is much more rounded and familiar. I do miss my job because I miss the puzzle solving aspect and my coworkers more than I realized. I miss living in a town with more than three thousand adult residents. I miss my familiar haunts and activities. I could be happy here I think, if I wanted to be.
Going back to school in Monterey is hard and already I'm dreading it, but I know it's for the best to shake up my comfort zone, but then the little part of me asks if that's right, and why can't I be content with an accounting licence that VSP will pay for? Or just suck it up and go to Sac State? Why do I need this all to validate myself? I can't seriously be that insecure that I need a peice of paper to tell me how smart and accomplished I am, right? Or is this really even about me? Who the hell am I trying to prove myself to?
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| Proof |
[26 Mar 2009|10:11am] |
I've been reading up about becoming a vegetarian. Cut out the meat basically, and avoid going total vegan. I probobly should cut out milk since I'm discovering my body can't process it.... but that would include cheese and ice cream, and for the state of my mental health I can't do that. I don't think this is an ethical decision, since I belive in the use of animal byproducts like leather and tissues for human use, but I can't ignore the idea that, until America changes the way we eat and reduce the amount of beef we consume, I'm having a part in damaging the enviroment for no reason other than to fill my belly. I do belive in alternate meats like ostrich, but really, that's expensive. I don't eat much sea food (sushi being my exception), so I never feel guilty about the sea watch signs.
But really, I think I would like to prove to myself that I can do without meats. I did it once before in high school, but I chalk that one up to more of a physical reaction than a mental desision.
I guess I'll see how this goes.
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| Deployement |
[28 Feb 2009|11:18am] |
After all the run around AFRC was giving me about my potential deployment, I am no longer going. I am heading out to Atlanta again which puts me in direct contact with the officer who actually handles this stuff, but it looks like this is a done deal.
Pro- not going to a dangerous country
Con- I'm not going to be able to afford a new(er) car and/or a mac book
Time to sign up for summer school....
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| Feb 14 |
[15 Feb 2009|05:26pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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I don't care much for Valentines Day, for lots of reasons. Mostly reasons which are in sync with my life and thus terrible. Even if Valentine's day doesn't end up being terrible, something goes wrong. I remember once deciding to drink the day away... and I did... and then i puked up conversation hearts.
But this year was actually good. Likely the best ever. And even though there were a million ways for the day to go wrong, it didn't.
I got up early, drove to Santa Clara to take the CPOT test. And I passed and legally became an optician. After that I drove to Sacramento (my car didn't break down! how nice!), got my hair cut, my make up done, went clothes shopping and basically fucked around for 5 hours. After that, I went and surprised my mom for her birthday at Scott's seafood. After that I caught a movie and knocked out.
All in all, it was a very nice day. =)
Also, a rainbow! What a nice thing to wake up and drive past.
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| Mostly about shoes |
[28 Jan 2009|06:44pm] |
Want And this too
OMG! I want but don't. I dunno if I could pull of 9 inches of heel.
Would want this too if it were a dentist. When will they get something like this for eyeballs? hrm? (side note: I have 4 molars like this. Anyone wanna make some bitchin necklaces?)
What is this shit?? I'm sorry guys, but you aren't henry the 8th and this will make you look like a transexual. Put down the stockings.
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| Too late to switch tracks now |
[27 Jan 2009|10:48am] |
I caught myself reading another large publication about sex, this time about the nature of female sexual arousal. It was a good article, going into one of many ideas that maybe women are completely narcissistic and get turned on by being desired. It's an interesting way to look at things (The link's here is you're interested).
While I was reading the piece, I realized that maybe I've passed beyond a pervy fascination of sex and sexual behaviors and into actual study. I've read countless articles, explorations, listened to lectures and picked up 4 different books on the subject (My first being my parent's Joy of Sex which I read at 11 or so for the psychology bits of it rather than the really dated drawings). By far, I doubt I've independently studied anything more than I have human sexuality, and no, I'm not counting 'hands on' study.
The more I read, the more I study, the more I love the material and the research about it, and of course, sharing that information. I realize that maybe I should become a sex therapist or some sort of researcher into that field so I stop sounding like a pervert and more like a scientist, add some credibility and all that. I know I could easily take my little premed major and head off in that direction, but for the psychology bit, it is a little late for that.
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| Back (not) Home |
[18 Jan 2009|06:50pm] |
After 6 weeks in Sacramento, I'm back in Monterey... and it's weird.
Mostly because I'm alone. There's no one in my room with me so i effectively have a 10 by 20 space all to myself Bitchin. If I had a guy, I could theoretically bring him back without any issues... you know, other than having a very tiny bed.
On the other hand, this means I lack a side kick. Other than Megan, who's under 21 and thus excluded from beach blanket wine parties and playing games like sticking the outta towner with the bar tab, I'm kinda stuck. Also the room is gigantic. I might make it larger by bunking the beds REALLY giving myself a closet.
Also, this will be a nice place for folks to crash if they wanna come visit. This is really good because I dunno when I'll be home next since my mom was screaming at me when i literally ran out of the house. I figure I'll be allowed back sooner or later since my dad hasn't called me to have someone come get my TV and assorted bits of stuff that I've left in their care. But until then, folks will have to come visit me.
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| There was gonna be a post here |
[02 Jan 2009|10:18pm] |
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I was going to write about how I was bored after having finished up seeing Lydia and Richard and having dinner with them, but, turns out Marisa's also bored so it's time for a bored party! Wooo!
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| New Year and such |
[01 Jan 2009|11:31pm] |
A few more days and I go to the base to work. 12 days and then my vaccation is done. I actually don't want to go back. I'm feeling a little depressed. I'm feeling a little lost. I've got a heavy load this semester and I'm not really sure I want to bother. I will because I feel like I should, like I need to in order to get my shitty little life headed in the right direction finally, to meet a lofty self goal of making something of myself and making myself more desirable. Because that's what it comes down to, catching the biggest fish in your pond; getting married and making babies.
26 this year and I feel old. Tick-tock, I suppose. 6 more years of school if everything goes right. I'll still be 32 no matter what, but it's hard facing up to the fact I likely won't really be starting my life until then.
I don't want to go back, I'm dreading it, but I will, because all my stuff is there. Home isn't about where I lay my head as much as where all my pretty clothes are.
Pretty clothes I never wear enough at school.
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| Shit |
[04 Dec 2008|09:54am] |
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VSP's revanue area always gets overwhelmed with New Year- New Business. When I left in the summer there was talk about me coming back during breaks and filling it, but apparently I'm not needed currently. So I have no job over the winter which leaves me with a few options. I could take a class over the winter break (because damn, I love my language requirements), I could go on orders for the entire time (maybe...), I could find another job, or I could do nothing and spend the entire time sitting around. Hrm... Honestly I should sign up with a temp agency and pick up positions whenever I have a break, but we'll see.
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| Pass me the ritalin, I have astrophysicis to master! |
[01 Dec 2008|10:24am] |
I was linked to a really interesting article about Genius by Malcolm Gladwell which is an extract from his book Outliers. It's very interesting and reinforces the idea that it's impossibly hard to just be 'naturally good' at something.
10,000 hours of practice. You could essentially acheive mastery of something by practicing for about 6 to 7 hours a day for 4 years. Every day. Streach that out to 10 years and it's only 3 hours a day.
The idea makes me feel devious....
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[10 Nov 2008|10:48am] |
This link is mostly for Adam, who in high school, had a detailed conversation with me about subtle differences of being male or female and how and why those differences are. We skirted the nurture bit of the argument, mostly because i don't think either of us had been deeply introduced to the concept yet or the constant debate surrounding it, but instead the physiology of it and implication of the genetic building of each sex. And then i found this article linked on Mental Floss. Interesting really.
And, oh yeah, I'm home now from Atlanta, but most folks know this.
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| Location, Location, Location? |
[30 Oct 2008|03:42pm] |
I set up train tickets to take me home prior to my flight to Atlanta. I didn't have to and I could have insisted on either a hop form San Jose or a direct flight, but I dind't because I want to come home. I don't miss any one thing, but I miss the people. There's nothing I really like here other than the location. I have only 2 friends really, and one leave in December and the other at the end of the year. I've got no boyfriend because this place forces their young to leave the area at the age of 22 and not return until they're 40. I'm serious. There's a handful of people in my age group, and that isn't to say I haven't tried dating, but I'm way over these guy's heads. I have no social circle, no family, very few friends and a school which is going to take too long. But I've committed to this and I'll see it through, I just don't think it's going to be the experiance I really want. It's a shitty thing when I look forward to going to work at the base because I get to see some of my friends.
On the upside, I run, everyday, just to shut my brain off. I'm still not to where I need to be, but I'm getting better and that makes me happy. If only I could get rid of my pesky love for sugar, and maybe food in general I could make a play for the 5 guys over the age of 25 in this stupid town. Then maybe I wouldn't be so damned depressed if I was getting laid regularly.
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| Woo! |
[27 Oct 2008|11:29am] |
By the 1st, Texas will no longer be the furthest east I've ever been.
PS: Miss you all =(
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chibiflame's journal
